The Insanity Version Pi : Beware the Fangirls
by GryphonChild
Summary: What happens when The Fangirls, none of which have a shred of common sense, rupture the space-time continuum and bring their favorite anime characters to the real world? “Um... Demetria? What’s that mean?” “She made reality go boom.”


Ummm... not too much to say 'bout this story. It should pretty much explain itself, but if you need more info, visit my website and take the link to the anime page. Also, it switches point-of-view depending on who's telling it. We each wrote our own section.  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Rurouni Kenshin, Yu Yu Hakusho, Inu Yasha, or any other animes we may mention in here. We also don't own a neon green chinchilla, an invisible pool table, or an exploding hacky-sack. Not that that had anything to do with anything...  
  
What we do own: Over 3 dozen anime DVDs, about 20 anime cds, an Ein stuffed animal, a Shippo stuffed creature, a couple of shinai and bokken (we're in a Kendo club .) , a bean bag chair, a jell-o cookbook, sugar, and ourselves. And duct tape. Lots and lots of duct tape.  
  
Last Note: -- means the person telling the story has changed. Once you're used to our personalities, you'll be able to tell who's talking when. We'll be making it pretty clear anyhow, if you don't want to get to know who's who. And, just in case you're wondering, we're all currently 14, so you can compare age difference between us and our "objects of obsession".

The Insanity 1.0: Beware the Fangirls  
  
Chapter 1 – When Reality Goes 'Boom' in Your Face

  
  
It was a normal night, at least, by our standards it was. Demetria was twitching in a corner, muttering under her breath about something or other; Danyel was writing "Beefy", "Karasu", and "Sesshomaru" all over the place. I was curled up in the beanbag chair with Ein, watching all of this and occasionally telling him about my latest philosophical revelation. Such as how I thought that kids should rule the world or how turkeys might be trying to brainwash us. Then there was Emma. She was sitting in the middle of the room chanting some kind of praise to Hiei.  
  
As you might've figured by now, we're not exactly your average bunch of fangirls. Demetria, Cha0sButterfly on fanfiction, wasn't interested in anime till this year, when we made her join anime club. She's always asking questions about what's happening and which characters are girls and guys. She also doesn't have any obsessions with anime characters, and her favorite pastimes are biting people's kneecaps off and having wrong thoughts.  
  
Danyel, or Dani, has an obsession with both Sesshomaru and Karasu. She even took on the nickname Fluffy in honor of the former. She can't decide which she likes better, either, which leads to much torment from us. Average bishie age is 57.5 years.  
  
Emily, known as Emma, the Bishie Thief, Kakurell to 5th graders and on fanfiction, or 'kaasan to me (don't ask), is absolutely devoted to Hiei Jaganshi. It's unhealthy if you ask me. She quotes him, relates almost anything you can think of to him, and if you insult him, you better watch your back. Her average bishie age? 263.5 years. ('Cause of Youko and Hiei)  
  
Then there's me. Probably the most unusual as far as fangirls go, though Demetria's a close second. I'm Lizard, also known as Eki, Liz, and a few other self-proclaimed titles, including GryphonChild on fanfiction.net. I obsess, claim bishounen, and argue with my friends over anime. So, what's so weird about me? I'm second youngest in the group, but as far as behavior goes, they say I'm around 9 years old. Besides that... well, you'll see.  
  
Anyhow, what's really important is that Emma eventually finished her chant, standing up and clapping her hands twice. Immediately, there was a "bang" and a black hole appeared in the air. At the same time, a golden, translucent force field formed around the entire room, pulsating.  
  
"What'd you do now, Emma?" I asked, staring at the hole. Emma was silent, staring as well. Then...  
  
"It's a gift from Hiei!" she shrieked reverently, rushing forward.  
  
Demetria grabbed her wrist, "Actually, I think you ruptured the space-time continuum." Emma stopped, looking around guiltily.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Um... Demetria? What's that mean?"  
  
Demetria sighed, "She made reality go boom."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Awkward silence.  
  
"Cooooooooool."  
  
With that said, Danyel went over to the force field, "Aw, buddy. We can't get out." As the others turned to look, a black lump of cloth fell out of the hole and onto the floor. Being insatiably curious as I am, I crawled over and poked it.  
  
A string of curses erupted from the lump, at least allowing us to identify the thing as male. While Demetria and I exchanged glances and backed away, realizing which male it sounded like, (Danyel having already taken cover behind the couch), Emma recognized the voice as well.  
  
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !" Before anyone could stop her, she had glomped her unfortunate bishie. He started swearing again and sat up, trying to push her off of him.  
  
"Baka ningen," he snarled, reaching for his katana... only to find it wasn't there. Neither were his spirit powers, he found when he tried to summon a flame to burn her off. Puzzled, he continued his attempts while Emma dragged him away.  
  
Staring in awe, the rest of us watched as several more bundles proceeded to fall from the portal at random intervals. After about half an hour, the hole resealed itself, and we managed to calm everyone down enough to get them to sit in a circle. Our "guests" included Kenshin, Kaoru, Yahiko, Sano, Misao, and Sojiro from Rurouni Kenshin, Kenji from same place, but a later time, Hitokiri Battousai (age 19), and a younger Kenshin at age 14. From Yu Yu Hakusho came Yusuke, Youko Kurama, Shuichi, Keiko, Yukina, Botan, Karasu, Jin, Touya, Rinku, Amanuma, Sniper, and of course, Hiei. The Inu Yasha cast was there as well, with Inu Yasha, Kagome, Shippo, Miroku, Sango, Kohaku, and Sesshomaru present. Finally came Nino (Haunted Junction), Mokuba (Yu-gi-oh), and Yuki (Fruits Basket), looking very confused and slightly terrified.  
  
"Now what?" I asked into the silence. Characters from different shows were eying each other warily, or in Miroku's case, eagerly. I personally had no idea what was going on, and I doubted my friends did, which left us at a distinct disadvantage. The only thing we had figured out was that they couldn't use any fighting powers, and their weapons had disappeared. Needless to say, they weren't too happy with us.  
  
"We could play spin the bottle," suggested Miroku. I stared at him.  
  
"How did you learn tha- Never mind," Emma had relinquished Hiei for a few minutes (amazingly enough), and now proceeded to hand out what appeared to be a bunch of black dog collars. "They'll help us keep everyone under control. Especially," her eyes glinted demonically, "if we play truth-or- dare." To prove they were okay, Emma fastened hers on, and I dubiously followed her example and slipped mine on.  
  
"Keep us under control?" Yusuke asked dubiously. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Emma didn't answer his question, instead remarking, "Let me rephrase that. You have two options: a) You cooperate or b) I give you up to the rabid fangirls."  
  
"I thought we were rabid fangi- OW!" I exclaimed as Demetria grabbed my collar and dragged me backwards. Apparently, she had noticed me staring at my favorite characters. To say she didn't like my "taste" would be an understatement. In any case, the mention of females who would quite possibly (to be blatantly honest) hit on or tear them to pieces, depending on the situation, quickly decided almost all the males. They chose option "a". Giggling, the anime girls followed suit, not that we suspected them to be uncooperative in the first place.  
  
Yahiko, however, being Yahiko, refused, "Why should I listen to you, busu? Although I'm sure I, Yahiko Myojin, have many fangirls," I heard Danyel and Demetria snickering, and I couldn't help grinning. "I sincerely doubt bakas like you would know any of them." He shot a glare at Danyel, who was doubled over with laughter; the only reason Demetria wasn't doing likewise was because she didn't dare let me go.  
  
Emma somehow managed to keep a straight face through all this, "Put it on, brat." Ever stubborn, Yahiko crossed his arms and shook his head. Eyes narrowed, Emma grabbed me by the collar and pulled me over next to her, whispering something to Demetria, who shrugged and looked horrified, then thoughtful.  
  
"Emma," I whined pitifully, "that hurts!"  
  
"Do me a favor, Eki-chan?"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"Don't be shy." My eyes widened as she released me. I could see all the anime girls watching expectantly, except Demetria who was shaking her head, though I didn't know why. After regaining my bearings, it only took me a matter of seconds to dart across the circle and tackle Yahiko in a hug.  
  
So now you know why I'm no ordinary fangirl. It's the same reason Demetria disapproves of my bishie choices, and Emma gets nauseous even thinking about them. She hates little. And cute. And my average bishie age just happens to be 12.27 years old.  
  
--  
  
Emma's section:  
  
After trying endlessly, almost every day, my Hiei sacrifice had finally worked. It's not like Lizard would miss her entire case of Anime DVDs....right? I shook my head, setting the thought aside for later when Lizard actually noticed. She seemed a bit preoccupied with Yahiko at the moment. Eugh.  
  
Hiei stood aside from the large group of anime characters, crossing his arms and glaring in the usual way. I walked over to him and smiled, biting my lower lip. His gaze slowly shifted to me and my eyes widened further. "Hi," was that all I had to say? Stupid me...  
  
"You get any closer to me and I'll kill you."  
  
'Awww! He does care! That's so cute!' I thought to myself, but refrained from saying aloud, knowing Hiei would punch my brains out if I did. Or choke me. Or find something to beat me with. Or maybe...Crap. I was losing myself in thoughts of my own death. Again. "Hey, I...um, have something for you." Quickly jogging to the corner of the room, I picked up my bokken (wooden sword) from kendo and brought it back to Hiei, offering it to him. "I noticed you don't have your katana with you, so...here," I smiled and he took it from my hands.  
  
"Um...Emma?" Demetria turned as her eyes widened. "I don't think that's a good-"  
  
For some reason my teeth clenched. Oh, that's why. There was...the wooden sword on my head. "Oooow!" I crouched on the ground and held my head. The throbbing. It didn't seem like it would be stopping anytime soon.  
  
"- idea," Demetria finished her sentence 'just in time,' a sweatdrop running down the side of her head.  
  
Hiei leaned boredly on the bokken, raising an eyebrow at me.  
  
I slowly stood up, leaving one hand on the top of my head and leaned against the wall next to him, trying my best to smile. "That's okay, Hiei. I forgiv-"  
  
Whack. Again. This time it hurt worse, but I decided to ignore it. Hiei looked confusedly at me with a "she-insists-on-obsessing-over-me-no-matter- how-many-times-I-try-to-kill-her" expression. Suddenly, I straightened up, no longer leaning against the wall. Still throbbing! It felt like there was a giant bump on the top of my hea- oh...there was a giant bump on the top of my head.  
  
"I will return shortly!" Quickly scooting away, I hid behind the same couch Danyel was behind, rocking back and forth, repeating 'Ow. I still like Hiei. Ow.' All while laughing hysterically.  
  
--  
  
Demetria's turn:  
  
Everyone else was busy obsessing over their respective bishies: Lizard was attempting to huggle roughly a dozen kids at the same time, Emma was making a valiant attempt to glomp Hiei, and Danyel was running around the room cooing happily about the prospect of all the yaoi matches she could arrange. The fictional girls had seated themselves daintily on or around the gray couch, laughing as their little-kid nemeses were strangled and glaring at the three extremely enthusiastic bishie thieves. I considered huggling Yuki (probably my only bishie, and that's because he's a rat—I'm a little odd, ok?), then decided against it. Much as Danyel would be thrilled by the sudden appearance of a naked boy in the middle of the party, it probably wasn't the best idea. Maybe sometime later this evening, the part of my mind devoted to thinking nasty, nasty things sniggered.  
  
I smacked my temples with the heels of my palms, attempting to erase that last mental image from my head. I went to an all-girls school for four years, ok? Come to think of it, my middle-school experience with single-sex schooling contributed to a lot of my problems. Like my fear of plaid. And bagpipes. And...  
  
"Think of something boring," I muttered aloud as a very frightened Shuichi edged away, "Like... cabbages. No, don't think of cabbages. Don't think of anything in the shape of cabbages. Or cucumbers. Or tomatoes. Or carrots. Or onions. STOP THINKING OF SALADS, DAMNIT!" I screamed, smacking my forehead again hard enough to leave multicolored dots dancing in front of my vision.  
  
The already skittish fictional characters stared at me for a moment and then leaned as far away from me as they could get without getting up, in a sort of unconscious effort to get as distant from me as possible (on the off chance that insanity might be contagious). My friends spared me brief glances and grinned before going back to their glomping/yaoi obsessing/concussed states.  
  
I smiled at waved at the suddenly silent room. "Hi!" A sea of pale faces stared back at me. "I have a little tendency to get worked up about vegetarian dishes, you know... had a bad experience with them in the past..." A low and uneasy buzz of conversation started again.  
  
By then, however, I was distracted by a small silver object lying on the floor. It looked almost like a remote control... but the controller to Lizard's TV was currently in the hands of Kaoru, who was holding it at arm's length on the off chance it might explode or something. It must have been spit out by the same black hole that had catapulted the assortment of cartoon characters into our world, and in the excitement someone could easily have kicked it into a corner and forgotten about it.  
  
The device was that sort of dull spray-painted silver that's found on cheap laptops and really well constructed set designs in high school performances. It looked like the controls for a normal DVD player, but it had several buttons that your average TV accessory does not normally associate with... including, instead the place of volume controls, a label reading 'change time' and a red button at the top on which 'autochant' was printed in white. The device did, however, seem to match Lizard's TV... so I vaulted over the back of the couch (catapulting Botan and a girl I recognized dimly as Misao unceremoniously into the coffee table) and jabbed the 'on' button.  
  
Those females from time periods in which television had not yet been invented jumped up at the sudden burst of sound and light from the television; those who recognized the wonders of modern technology moved away anyways, the memory of my last outburst fresh in their minds. I didn't notice the sudden evacuation of my immediate area, however—what had just popped up on the screen fascinated me.  
  
It looked like the menu for a normal DVD... but instead of episodes, a list titled 'Worlds' was displayed across the screen. I hit the arrows on the screen to scroll the list down; there was no apparent end to the display. Something caught my eye in the corner; I glanced around the room, but everyone was studiously ignoring me. Perfect. That option with 'Yu Yu Hakusho' on it looked tempting...  
  
The screen was replaced by another one, a scrolling list of characters and a notice asking me to select one. But wait... why were the characters that were already in the room not grayed out? In the name of science, I chose the first option I could find for an already available character: Hiei.  
  
It looked like someone had paused a random episode in the middle... and then cut Hiei out. There was an completely blank hole—not black, you understand, but blank, as if someone had temporarily switched those pixels off—where Hiei should have been. There was even a neat little cutout in the background for his hair.  
  
I flicked the 'change time' button, and the scene jumped backwards slightly... almost the same pose, only now Hiei was in the picture. Hmm... I pressed the downwards-facing 'change time' button repeatedly, and watched as the scene sped backwards with increasing speed.  
  
Hmmmm...  
  
There. The perfect opportunity to check my theory... and the only possible explanation for the fact that Kenshin could appear simultaneously at 29, 19, and 14. I jabbed the 'pause' button and examined the snow-swept tableau. Perfect. Now, where was the enter...? Ah, of course. 'Autochant.'  
  
A chant very similar to Emma's—exactly the same as Emma's, in fact, as recited by a much younger child—began. The pixels on the screen began to dim as a familiar black hole opened in the ceiling...  
  
A cloth-wrapped bundle fell out and bounced to the floor at Lizard's feet. She released her hold on her bishies (most of whom immediately fled) and picked it up.  
  
"Hey, look, it's shiny," she exclaimed, tugging at something attached to the package that glinted blue. "It's... ow! It bit me!"  
  
I hastily returned to the 'worlds' menu, thinking hard. If a certain discussion I remembered from my computer camp was indeed true... And yes, there it was on the menu. The chant this time was much faster and gave one the impression that the speaker had ingested much more than their recommended daily dosage of non-complex carbohydrates. The now-familiar black hole opened and dumped a load of grainy white powder onto someone who just happened to be floating in midair.  
  
See, when you're stuck in camp with a group of people who can take apart and rewire a hard drive but can't pass for a normal member of the human race, you get some pretty interesting conversations going. Including the one about the infinite alternate dimension filled with... well...  
  
"Sugar?" Jin shook his head, spraying ordinary table sugar everywhere. "How'd this get here?"  
  
"Oh, no..." Touya groaned, passing a hand in front of his eyes.  
  
"What? Are you magically attracted to sugar or something?" Yahiko asked from his hiding place in the corner.  
  
Emma had finally gotten over her severe concussion, or at least enough to talk. "Well, that explains a lot about Jin..."  
  
I jumped up on the couch and punched my fist into the air triumphantly. "All right! I did it!"  
  
"You... summoned sugar?" Yuki concluded hesitantly.  
  
"Yeah! We're stuck down here, and all Lizard's candy is upstairs! But as long as it exists in an alternate universe at any time, I can get it!" And then, I made possibly the biggest mistake of my life. "And I can get the same thing over and over again from different points in time... like Hiei!"  
  
I pointed dramatically to the cloth-wrapped bundle that Yukina had obviously recognized and was cradling somewhat tearfully, then realized that in one dark corner a certain bishie belonging to a certain fangirl with a certain massive head wound was certainly not looking pleased...  
  
"Oh, sh—" was about as far as I got.  
  
--  
  
Danyel's section. May the reader beware. You have been warned .  
  
"Sesshomaru...Karasu...Sesshomaru....Karasu...yaoi....Sesshomaru...Karasu...and yaoi...heh heh heh..." I said silently and smiled as naughty 'yaoi' thoughts entered my head.  
  
Lizard looked up and saw my coy smile, "Dani..." she said nervously.  
  
"Guest room, GUEST ROOM NOW!!" I partly screamed grabbing Sesshomaru and Karasu's hands leading them to the guest room, "I'll be back in 7 minutes!" I yelled to the others before I close the door.  
  
"Oro..." Emma muttered softly.  
  
"Uh oh..." Demetria said under her breath.  
  
"NOOO!!! Not in there Dani!" Lizard yelled and ran for the door and grabbing the knob not knowing that I thought ahead and locked it. "This is gonna be bad..." Lizard groans.  
  
"Wow, I didn't think you guys would come with me so easily, if I'da known that I would have done this sooner." I said as Karasu started 'making moves' and touching Sesshomaru's hair.  
  
"Off...get off..." Sesshomaru said silently as Karasu continued his touchings (and not in that way, since this is supposed to be PG-13 or Lizard will delete it and tell me to do it over again) "Get him off of me, human," he told me, glaring.  
  
"That's not a nice thing to call somebody." I said sadly.  
  
Something hit the door, probably Lizard trying to get me to come out. "Dani... my mom's gonna kill me!" There was a pause. "I wonder what she's gonna make them do?" she asked Emma in an undertone.  
  
"DUH...YAOI!!! Criminy." Emma yelled, not bothering to keep her voice down. I had to smile as I imagined the other males' reactions to the dreaded word and Demetria shaking her head.  
  
"I could get him off of you if you just do one thing for me," I informed Sesshomaru as he struggled to get Karasu off of him.  
  
"I do nothing for humans." Sesshomaru replied calmly, still trying to wiggle out of Karasu's grasp.  
  
"Well, I guess that he'll be stuck on you forever. Just like Lizard with Yahiko and Emma with Hiei and Demetria with Yuki although he would turn into a rat and then come back naked...mmmm..." I pause to lick my lips before changing subjects. "Yaoi..." I murmured as more naughty thoughts came into my head.  
  
"Ok, fine, just get him off me..." Sesshomaru consented, trying to push Karasu off him with the hands.  
  
"You hafta...KISS HIM!!!" I yell a little too loud with a really, really, really big grin.  
  
"WHAT?!" Sesshomaru's voice rose almost an octave as he yelped.  
  
"You better listen to her, or I might just do something with my hands..." Karasu purred with a smirk.  
  
"PLEEEEEEZE!!!! I've been waitin' for this since the summer of 8th grade!!!" I pleaded as I got on my knees, clasping my hands together and raising them over my head, begging Sesshomaru cuz I know that Karasu would do it, seeing as he's gay. coughkuramacough.  
  
"Just one... a light on-" Sesshomaru grumbled furiously, before he was interrupted by moi.  
  
"Withtonguewithtonguewithtonguewithtonguewithtonguewithtongue!" I shrieked in response.  
  
Emma, hearing me scream, gave an audible gasp on the other side of the door.  
  
"No, not with tongue..." Sesshomaru stated firmly, almost losing his soft tone of voice.  
  
"Pucker up, Sexy..." Karasu interrupted as he deeply kissed Sesshomaru on the lips with tongue... lots of tongue.  
  
I grinned hugely and half-screamed, "Oh my friggin' Boe Johnson!!"  
  
"Mmm..." Karasu continued to passionately kiss Sesshomaru, who looked absolutely horrified.  
  
That's all I heard before I passed out... I think all this yaoi is getting to my head...  
  
Um... yeah. I told Dani not to make it too nasty, dunno if she listened. For her, that's fairly innocent so if you wanna get mad, get mad at her not me. I'm just the one obsessing over 10-year-olds, 'member? I'd like reviews on this, it motivates us. Almost as much as sugar does. What can I say? If you hated it, I apologize, but leaving mean reviews won't do anything about it. Reviewers can have a share of the sugar from the infinite-dimension-of-all- things-sugary. 


End file.
